This time of retreat has been quite interesting, I suspect for many of us. I find I have a whole range of emotions, and am learning to just sit with them...allowing them to be without having to justify or analyze. I am spending more time in meditation than ever, mindfulness, solitude, retreat with others, and living in a new state of being; and I am clearly seeing the impact in my life. I am at this place of being where I am simply waiting for life to unfold in any given moment. I can't really make plans, I don't really know how or where I will be in service, I have no idea who will become friends or where to find them. All-in-all, exactly as life has always been except I am not living in an illusion that life will show up as I expect it to. That is a huge amount of freedom, the allowing ourselves to simply see life as it is, right now today. I was told about a poem by T.S. Eliot called the Four Quartets. One piece of it explains what I just tried to say much more eloquently: "we shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time."
May you be well.